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Real members of myHIVteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

Dating

Dating

I have known I am HIV + since July 2016. I have been reluctant to date because I am afraid to divulge my status due to the stigma associated with the disease. Does anyone have any suggestions?

A myHIVteam Member said:

I met my partner through OkCupid. I was intimidated at first to state my status until I realized that I was limiting myself. There is always going to be someone that doesn't like something about me; my background, heritage, etc. When I looked at HIV as something similar, something I can't change, made it part or me then I wasn't hurt or offended that someone wouldn't want to be with me.
I knew there would be someone out there that would like me just the way I am. And I did. We've been together almost 8 years now and he's HIV-.
Until I put myself out there I didn't know what I was missing.
Go for it!!!

posted over 2 years ago
A myHIVteam Member said:

It takes time to come to terms with being HIV+ once you have found out and getting in to treatment can be a huge adjustment so take your time in getting to know someone and become friends. You do not have to inform everyone about your status unless your going to have a sexual encounter with them other wise I wouldn't worry about it. I was HIV+ in a small Rural town in south central Florida called Lake Placid. It only has a one mile city limits and the population there is so small that if one find out something about you everyone know within a few days. I have never been one to jump quickly towards a sexual relationship. I have always started with getting to know them well and then setting boundaries where I feel comfortable with dating and before getting to serious I let them know. I have found that if you let someone get to know you prior to having a label of HIV stamped on your forehead your more likely to have a positive outcome even it thing do not go any farther.

posted over 5 years ago
A myHIVteam Member said:

This being my 35+ year as an HIV+ gay male, I can't remember when I last had anything approximating a "date."

Since the epidemic began, like many of you, I lost all my gay friends and playmates. We weren't ready to stop playing and my emotional development came to an abrupt halt.

Consequently, I repeatedly seek much younger men for their youthful energy...(and, to be honest, good looks).
I've come to realize that my heart is searching for proof that I once shared a vibrant life with others.. and it was good.

So...I exist in a world where I am invisible to anyone I find attractive.

Of course, I've tried to embrace the reality of my age and seek those who seem more age appropriate, more mature, but once our veneers are tackled, there's little chemistry. Admittedly, my shallowness aborts any chance of really connecting and my jaded inner-child assures me that there's no hope.

The only good thing to come out of 2020 so far, is that, for reasons I'll never truly understand, I've made it to my 70th birthday, albeit socially distanced and quarantined.

In spite of my Narcissistic existence, I have great respect for other mature gay men living with HIV. It's never been a ride in the park, yet I remain too emotionally immature to find a safe place to land.

With younger men, I feel a strong desire to offer them encouragement as they begin their journeys. Unfortunately, I fear that my interest comes across as CREEPY...so...I try to keep my distance and reduce my fascination to that of being simply Eye Candy.

(Sorry if I've wandered off-topic).

In summation, good luck to those who haven't given up.
Regardless of whether you make that special connection, LIFE is still worth pursuing...We've come this far and the beat goes on.

posted over 1 year ago
A myHIVteam Member said:

Been pos since 1988 definitely hard even with u=u people a re hessitant

posted over 2 years ago
A myHIVteam Member said:

I haven't dated since my diagnosis in 2010. To be honest I'm alright with it. I go to the gym, eat right spend time with family. Many of my so called " friends" stop coming around. What is important to me now is my family. My family has always been around for me even when I wasn't there for them.

posted almost 3 years ago
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