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Real members of myHIVteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A myHIVteam Member asked a question 💭
New York, NY

Do you feel because you have it under control and it cannot be transmitted the need to tell them your status ?

September 1
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A myHIVteam Member

depends on the state you live in. Some states still have old laws that have not been updated with science, so even if you are undetectable, you'd be breaking the law by not disclosing. Other states, I know California and Michigan are 2 of them, if you are undetectable, you no longer have to disclose that information.

September 1
A myHIVteam Member

For real, Some states have repealed their HIV disclosure laws. But you can't control how people tell their own stories. Even if it's youtube or facebook. People don't talk about dirt they willing do.

September 2 (edited)
A myHIVteam Member

Very true thank you.

September 2
A myHIVteam Member

I tell them I have HIV. Then explain undetectable. It's less messy. Rejection is alot easier to handle than a angry and scared person whose confused over whether they had an HIV exposure or not.

September 2
myHIVteam

This is a deeply personal question that many people living with HIV wrestle with. There's no one-size-fits-all answer, but there are some important things to consider.

Being undetectable is a huge achievement and means you can't transmit HIV sexually (U=U: Undetectable = Untransmittable). However, disclosure is still Show Full Answer

This is a deeply personal question that many people living with HIV wrestle with. There's no one-size-fits-all answer, but there are some important things to consider.

Being undetectable is a huge achievement and means you can't transmit HIV sexually (U=U: Undetectable = Untransmittable). However, disclosure is still widely recommended, even when undetectable, for a few key reasons:

- Honesty and trust — it creates a foundation for genuine connection
- Your partner's right to make informed choices about their own health
- Legal requirements — many U.S. states legally require you to disclose your HIV status before sexual contact, regardless of viral load
- Peace of mind — for both you and your partner A myHIVteam member shared that telling a potential partner was scary, but it actually made them feel more confident about their status and how they wanted to move forward in life.

Ultimately, many people find that disclosing from a place of being undetectable feels empowering — it's sharing news from a position of control, not fear. Talking to a counselor or your HIV care team can help navigate these conversations if needed.

September 1

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