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A myHIVteam Member asked a question 💭
Indonesia

I am very shocked by the discrimination I saw on social media from a content creator who advocates for the rights of people with HIV. He received that discrimination, which made me very scared and shocked. I am also confused about how, in the future, I will find a wife because the civil registration requires an HIV test before marriage. I will choose not to marry, and I hope I can move to a Nordic country. It's just confusing how to getapproved visa with my body condition as it is.

February 18
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A myHIVteam Member

First get on your meds ..get healthy than plan your exit.

February 18
A myHIVteam Member

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is incredibly heavy to witness someone you admire—especially an advocate—be treated with the very discrimination they fight against. It’s natural to feel scared and shocked; it feels like a personal attack on your own safety and future.

Please know that your feelings are valid, but your life and your dreams of a family and a new home are not over. Let’s look at the facts and separate the fear from the reality.

Marriage and Civil Registration in Indonesia
It is true that many regions and religious offices (KUA) in Indonesia have implemented "premarital screenings." However, it is important to understand the nuance:

The Intent vs. The Reality: While some local regulations (like in Bogor or parts of Java) suggest mandatory testing, the national health guidelines often frame this as Health Counseling.

You Can Still Marry: Testing positive for HIV is not a legal barrier to marriage in Indonesia. The goal of the test is officially to ensure both partners are aware of their status so they can start treatment (ART) and prevent transmission.

U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable): If you are on treatment and your viral load is undetectable, you cannot pass the virus to a partner. Many people living with HIV have healthy, "serodiscordant" (one positive, one negative) marriages and have children who are HIV-negative.

Moving to a Nordic Country
Your "body condition" is not a broken machine; it is a body managing a chronic condition, much like diabetes.

No Bans: Most Nordic countries (Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland, Iceland) do not have entry or residency bans for people living with HIV.

Sweden & Norway: These countries are among the most progressive in the world. They do not deny work or residency visas based on HIV status. In fact, Sweden provides HIV care and medication to residents (and even asylum seekers) because they view it as a public health priority.

Health as a Right: In the Nordics, HIV is treated as a manageable health issue. You would not be "rejected" for being HIV-positive; you would likely be linked to some of the best medical care in the world.

A Note on the Future
The discrimination you saw on social media is a reflection of the creator's audience's ignorance, not a reflection of your worth or your future.

Community: You don't have to face this alone. There are many groups in Indonesia (and globally) specifically for people living with HIV who are navigating dating and marriage.

Privacy: You have the right to choose who you share your status with and when.

February 21
A myHIVteam Member

Thanks a lot mr luis

February 18
A myHIVteam Member

Thanks a lot for the information sir nola. It made me feel better

February 18
myHIVteam

How can I cope with fear about HIV discrimination and find support for my future?

It's completely understandable to feel scared and shocked after witnessing discrimination, especially from someone who should be advocating for the community. Unfortunately, stigma and discrimination are real challenges that many people with Show Full Answer

How can I cope with fear about HIV discrimination and find support for my future?

It's completely understandable to feel scared and shocked after witnessing discrimination, especially from someone who should be advocating for the community. Unfortunately, stigma and discrimination are real challenges that many people with HIV face, but you're not alone in this experience.

Many myHIVteam members have shared similar fears about discrimination affecting their relationships and future plans. The fear can feel overwhelming, but connecting with others who truly understand what you're going through can help reduce that isolation.

Here are some ways to address your concerns:

* Prioritize your mental health - Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who specializes in HIV to help process these fears
* Connect with supportive communities - Engaging with people who understand your experience can provide emotional support and practical advice
* Focus on your physical health - Taking care of yourself by staying on treatment helps you maintain your health and can reduce transmission risk to future partners
* Research your options - Look into the specific requirements for marriage and immigration in countries you're interested in, as policies vary widely

Regarding relationships and marriage:

Dating and finding a partner while living with HIV is absolutely possible. Many people in mixed-status relationships (where one partner is HIV-positive and one is negative) have healthy, fulfilling partnerships. When you're on effective treatment and maintain an undetectable viral load, the risk of transmission becomes extremely low.

It's important to remember that your HIV status doesn't define your worth or your ability to have meaningful relationships. Taking time to accept yourself first can make navigating these challenges easier.

February 18

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