Blood doesn't always mean family. I spend most of my holidays with friends. My brother lives too far away, at 49 both of my parents and all my grandparents are dead. Aunt's and Uncles and cousins all live far away. I just make best of the situation that i can.

it saddens me to think that family can't love each other as it is with my brother and sister. I am tired of beating my head against the wall and trying to make it so with them. I no longer care whether they like/love or even care for me. I know I am a good person and someone worthy.

I feel very much the same. Holidays are the worst time for me. Used to be the happiest. The only family I have is a greedy sister who could really care less about my health. Haven't talked with her in 9 years. She is extremely toxic.
Sometimes we need to pull away some from people who won't accept you as you are. Including having HIV. You have my support on this one.