I don't remember feeling anything. At least not how I expected to feel. I kinda knew it. When I'm being honest on this page. I started getting sick around this time 4 years ago. I had been to the emergency room a couple times, Had pneumonia, thrush and hemorrhoids out of this world from the diarrhea. Honestly, every time I went to the ER. I check the box for them to not do an HIV test. I just didn't want to come out of the hospital with more than I went in there with. Some time in February we up to that emergency room and this time they admitted me right away and I didn't have time to do the paper work. They ran an HIV test and let me know. I don't remember being mad, sad or anything until after I got home a couple of weeks later.
I was devastated. At that time, my daughter was young and I wasn’t educated on HIV/AIDS and I thought that I was gonna die. Now that I’m educated, I’m learning how to live again after raising my daughter now that she’s grown and on her own.
Good evening I’m sitting here reading some of your responses and I say to myself are you guys picking my brain and telling my story I say that because I felt the same exact way some of you did I had suicidal thoughts I had friends that disappeared on me I had people judge me call me names all of that I even went through a depression shut everybody out became very coldhearted and I felt like I was in a dark place in my life and I also felt like my life was over I had to deal with all of this alone I’m not gonna say I was alone because I knew I had God but I wanted somebody to talk to that can relate to what I was going through I didn’t know what help was out there I didn’t even know if I could be helped to be honest All I knew is that I had no one to help me through this and to tell me that I was gonna be OK I was in a relationship at the time with someone that was negative no I didn’t cheat on him or anything like that it was before his time but when I went to talk to him about it it was like talking to him was useless because he didn’t understand and he didn’t understand because he wasn’t going through it and to be honest I still sometimes wish that I was dreaming Or I am dreaming but when reality sets in its reality it’s real I can’t go back and change anything do I regret it now no I believe everything happens for a reason and it becomes a life learning lesson but it taught me to open my eyes to how people really are and how vindictive people can be I can Write a book on here so let me stop here Thank you guys for sharing your story with me it was more than fair for me to share my story with you I come on here and I talk to you guys because you guys are my support thank you so much and may God bless you all
I was shock mental break down then i picked myself up and did what i had to do because i do like living
Oddly a certain relief knowing what was causing the health issues. Then in a week the prognosis. Then a. Fight for life and pulling off what , by president, impossible.
Then the epiphany that I could help teens at risk see a brighter path.