It was tough at first once disclosing they would ghost me, but that only made me realize that they don't deserve my time. I am upfront honest when it comes to dating. I disclose on first date or even before by text. Many don't care but many are afraid and uneducated about HIV.

Believe U=U! Undetectable means untransmittable. Shame the self-hate and respect yourself and others. Learn from your diagnosis, you have the power for self-forgiveness.

I think it should be brought up and how about we both go get tested if you want the relationship to go futher, most heterosexual people don't know if they have it or not so now we both have our test results and we can go from there

The obstacle remains in my own mind. So I am cautious and even paranoid. I can only relax with another positive person. And that's fine! And I have never been anything but undetectable, I made one mistake years ago, not telling someone and although I don't have any idea what happened to him, as it was totally anonymous sex, I feel very guilty to this day. What I did was unforgivable but it was years ago when living in San Francisco where a promiscuous lifestyle was all we knew. It was hedonistic and self-destructive. Ditto for West Hollywood where I was diagnosed in 1991.

When I first found out, I called a good friend that was a nurse. He and his BF both told me that now that I'm positive they were even more turned on. He told me take the pill every day and be prepared to BB. It was weird at first but he was so right. I never knew what U=U really meant.

The reason guys get turned on to that is because of the regimented health screenings. I get tested for every STI not just viral load.

I've been undetectable since then and now can play with confidence. My doctor's showed me what to look for with the bad stuff like herpes and syphilis. And I avoid venereal warts. I assume everyone is positive.

I tried getting insurance for years and only after being positive was I able to get coverage.