I wasn't feeling very good last week I'm glad I'm feeling better today.

Yeah, there is something I'd like to get off my chest.
I am so disappointed in the gay community at large placing so much emphasis on sex, specifically NSA hookups. Throughout my 50s I discovered that this one thing seems to be what defines gay men. I find that incredibly sad. Now that I am 60, I have almost given up on finding a genuine partner in every sense of that word: intimate, monogamous, sexual, life, love, work and play. Every gay male that I have an interest in wants just one thing from me: sex.
I'm not judging individuals for their life choices. Whatever works for you. It's not my business. But as a whole, I find it distasteful. Even couples and open relationships reaching out to me disgusts me. I don't understand, nor do I care, why anyone in their 60s would choose fleeting sexual encounters, often accompanied by other hedonistic activities, in lieu of guaranteed sex with a committed partner whom they are attracted to. Not to mention intimacy, connection and bonding. A feeling of safety and security. Loneliness among older men is all too common and this group has the highest rate of suicide from loneliness. I don't want to grow old alone. Why would anyone choose that just so they could get their nut off with some random dude? Why would someone choose to live and grow old alone?
I wish there was a nationwide group of gay men committed to healthy, monogamous relationships. Sadly, all there is are a bunch of apps filled with guys looking for anonymous hookups.
Being a part of this group is one way that I am trying to meet men who feel the way I do. I joined an older gay male social club two years ago, but have met nobody despite having a membership of over 200. Many of them are married, and even they try to hookup with other members or whoever they can find. Same with the single guys. So, this doesn't seem to be confined to the apps. For 2027, I am going to try a few new things and I pray that something good will come of it.
Why is it so dang hard to find a partner? I'm not unattractive. Despite HIV, I'm fit and healthy. I'm a good person with very few vices. I want to evolve, not devolve. I've already had my time as a young man cruising and hooking up, drinking and drugging. Now, at 60 I want much more for myself. Those are childish things that I put away long ago.
Thanks for letting me vent.

I was hoping to get married again but I may never get that chance again. I'll be just fine God has a plan down the road. Plus I'm liking the single life even though he still says I love you. Then calls me baby I say it back but I know we're not together. Sighs this is as good as it gets I just want him to be the man I need ... I love that song by Olivia Dean by the way...

It'll be ok my friend..Come visit Chicago!!!

You'll be okay.. I'm sure there's someone who'll love you for you.. please don't give up ❤️...xx