Connect with others who understand.

  •   Learn from expert-reviewed resources
  •   Real advice from people who’ve been there
  •   People who understand what you’re going through
Sign Up Log In
All Resources Treatments A-Z Personal Assistant Help Center Crisis
Español
Powered By
Real members of myHIVteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

We survived HIV. Now what does it mean to truly thrive as we get older?

A myHIVteam Member asked a question 💭
New York, NY

I’ve been thinking a lot about this question lately, especially after National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day.

I was diagnosed in 2003, so I’m very conscious that my HIV experience is different from those who survived the darkest years of AIDS. By the time I was diagnosed, effective treatment had already changed the trajectory of the disease. Many long-term survivors fought through something far more brutal, and I have enormous respect for that history.

But now many of us have been given… read more

1 day ago
 · 
Reactions
A myHIVteam Member

@A myHIVteam Member

15 hours ago
A myHIVteam Member

There was an article in POZ we just discussed in group at NE AIDS Project that had a similar theme you discussed here. I rec'd the Dx in 2002, I'm now 50. This virus/syndrome has caused hell and heartache for me off and on thru the years mentally, physically and spiritually. I am fortunately/unfortunately on gov't assistance. That small amount of money barely leaves enough to survive on with thrme runaway inflation. Rspecially during the current dictatorship we live in, it is frightening, because at any moment, funding goes away and then what? I try not to think about it, but am reminded that w/o the medication I cease to exist. It's also very difficult living in the horrible flyover state of NE where fundamentalists who thump their bibles are plentiful. They exist in aspects of healthcare and still believe its gods punishment for being an abomination et you are treated lesser than.

20 hours ago
A myHIVteam Member

I know I didn't plan to retire with HIV or any other condition for that matter. But here we are. I'm 51 and starting to worry about retirement. I'm also starting to wonder will I be able to seriously work until I'm 62 and if not, how will I be able to fill in the gap? Since medical care is always going to be an issue. I've move past all the stigma stuff and settled into the now what phase. I have neurological issues. Which is ok as long as I work from home and no one notices. But it would be very difficult for me to work in public as an older man with my deficiencies. Eventually age and HIV is going to catch up with me. And I'm not going to be ready.

1 day ago (edited)
myHIVteam

Tim, what a beautifully written and deeply human reflection. The question you're asking — what comes after survival? — is one of the most important conversations the HIV community can be having right now.

You're absolutely right that medication can suppress a virus, but it can't fill a life. Thriving is something Show Full Answer

Tim, what a beautifully written and deeply human reflection. The question you're asking — what comes after survival? — is one of the most important conversations the HIV community can be having right now.

You're absolutely right that medication can suppress a virus, but it can't fill a life. Thriving is something altogether different, and it looks different for everyone. Other myHIVteam members have described this tension vividly. One member wrote that living with HIV is like a rollercoaster — some days feeling on top of the world, other days sliding into depression. That emotional range doesn't disappear just because your viral load is undetectable.

Another long-term survivor, diagnosed in 1985, shared that his focus shifted entirely from HIV to *living* — sending out positive messages daily, leaning into spirituality, and choosing to look for the bright side. Not because life was easy, but because it was a conscious choice. What thriving while aging with HIV might look like varies, but here are dimensions worth exploring:

- Physical — staying consistent with ART, regular check-ins with your care team, and monitoring age-related health changes
- Emotional — processing grief, identity, and the unique psychological weight of long-term survival
- Social — finding or building community, even when it's hard or imperfect (your "From Survival to Strength" idea matters, even if the timing shifts)
- Purposeful — using your story and visibility to show younger people what a full, vibrant life with HIV actually looks like
- Intimate — allowing yourself to be seen, desired, and loved Your point about visibility is particularly powerful. As treatment makes HIV less visible, there's a real risk that the conversation quietly disappears — and with it, the roadmap for those newly diagnosed.

Seeing someone at 53, nearly 23 years in, asking *how do I thrive?* rather than *how do I survive?* — that itself is the answer many people need to see.

The fact that you're still asking these questions, still building, still listening? That's not just surviving. That's already thriving. ❤️

1 day ago

Related Questions

View All

What would you say to the person you were the day before your diagnosis?

A myHIVteam Member asked a question 💭
Edmore, MI
April 6

Does anyone else feel like they were robbed?

A myHIVteam Member asked a question 💭
Cleveland, TX
April 30, 2025

What Does a Nonreactive HIV Test Mean? Understanding Your Results
You’ve Just Been Diagnosed With HIV. Now What?
Living with HIV can mean...
Continue with Facebook
Continue with Google
By joining, you accept our Terms of Use, and acknowledge our collection, sharing, and use of your data in accordance with our Health Data and Privacy policies.
Already a member? Log In