First, please hear this clearly: those feelings of self-blame and the thought that you'd rather die are serious, and they matter. Please reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 right now if those thoughts feel overwhelming. You are not alone in this.
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You are absolutely overthinking the Show Full Answer
First, please hear this clearly: those feelings of self-blame and the thought that you'd rather die are serious, and they matter. Please reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 right now if those thoughts feel overwhelming. You are not alone in this.
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You are absolutely overthinking the transmission risk to your children, and that's completely understandable given what you're going through emotionally. HIV is not spread through:
- Sharing food or drinks
- Utensils like forks or spoons
- Kissing cheeks or the top of someone's head
- Casual everyday contact
Please hug and kiss your babies. They need that from you, and so do you. The anxiety and rapid cycling thoughts you're describing are incredibly common after an HIV diagnosis. Almost 16% of people living with HIV experience anxiety disorders. This is not weakness — it's a real response to a life-changing moment.
The self-blame about your ex is something many myHIVteam members carry too. One myHIVteam member shared that their fears about HIV were actually adding to their pain, and that consciously letting go of that burden helped them focus on managing their health instead.
Talking to a therapist, counselor, or psychologist who understands HIV can make a real difference. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one approach that's been shown to help. Please also speak honestly with your doctor about these thoughts — you deserve full support, emotionally and physically. You will feel like yourself again.
August 28
Hi, this is just a check-in, based on a phrase you mentioned. If you — or anyone else who sees this — is thinking about self-harm, we want to say that you are an important part of this community. No part of this is easy, but there is support that can help.
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