I feel bad having to say no I miss family encounters

Felt good to be able to set my mind to doing something and not hearing " you can't do that " which is in my thinking is a defeatist attitude even before trying

@A myHIVteam Member
What Is A 'rule' For Life That You Inherited From Your Parents Or Your Culture That You Have Officially Decided To Break?

You’re looking at a question that hits right at the center of identity — the rules we inherit, the ones we quietly carry for years, and the moment we finally decide, “This one isn’t mine anymore.” And the page you’re reading is full of people doing exactly that: noticing the rules they grew up with, and choosing which ones still deserve space in their lives.
Here’s a way to think about it that goes deeper than just “breaking a rule.”
Most of us grow up with rules that aren’t written down but feel absolute:

Don’t talk about your struggles

Don’t question authority

Don’t show weakness

Don’t put yourself first

Don’t take risks

These rules often come from love, fear, survival, or tradition — but they’re still someone else’s blueprint.

Breaking a rule is often the first moment you choose your life
People on the page describe that first break as either terrifying or liberating, and that makes sense.
When you break an inherited rule, you’re not just doing something different — you’re rewriting the story you were told about who you’re allowed to be.

It’s the moment you say:
“I get to decide what kind of person I am.”

That’s not rebellion. That’s adulthood.

A rule many people end up breaking
One of the most common — especially in communities dealing with stigma or chronic illness — is the rule that says:

“Don’t talk about what hurts.”

Silence is often taught as strength.
But for many people, especially those living with HIV, breaking that rule becomes the thing that saves them — the moment they choose connection over isolation, honesty over shame, and support over secrecy.

If you’re asking this question, you’re probably standing at that edge yourself
Maybe you’re noticing a rule that used to protect you but now limits you.
Maybe you’re wondering what would happen if you finally stepped over it.

So here’s the real question underneath the one you asked:

Which rule in your life feels too small for the person you’re becoming?

I'm breaking one of the oldest rules my parents taught us during our preteen years. It's an insignificant rule that may seem minor to some but for me and my siblings, it was enforced by our parents and I have carried and honored that rule up until I turned 50 when I cast it aside. It was silly but my parents wanted order and organization, neat and tidy mom would say.
The rule was to "fold and roll all of my underwear after removing from the dryer" then "placing it neatly in rows in my underwear drawer" this was to allow a rotation so the underwear would get full use before being replaced. It was silly but it worked. My parents would buy new underwear every 2-3 years as we grew. I didn't even get started on the sock drawer......

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