my CD4 count was 20 so I was incredibly sick. I somehow knew that it could be the end at any time but with aggressive antivirals and adherence it took me 5 years to raise my CD4 to a safe level. You do what is necessary and make the decision to live or to die.

...i almost fainted....

Well that was back in 1994 , before then I had a lover who came down with aids and I helped him through it. that was a precocktail so we managed to keep him alive until they started clinical trials on some antivirals. after that I got into a little bit of a tail spin going out and meeting people and I think I may have infected myself a long the way . I don't regret anything I did because it is what it is . as far as do I remember the day I was told... absolutely .. I was very weak and wasting and down to 90 pounds and I could have used a friend but I was all alone and my parents treated me as if I was a leper . it took some time for both friends and family to come around and in that span of time I found my new direction and created a new life for myself regardless of people's opinions.

i was in the hospital didnt feel anything i was on tubes...

Stigma! How people categorize you and pigeon hole you because of your status maddens me. Just because I got this disease doesn't mean I was a slut, a whore or sex crazed. I am tired of them jumping to conclusions before they even think. I am not being punished by some divine being, I didn't deserve this plight in life but I accept it. No I don't know who gave me this disease nor should it matter.