I am often asked and am single mainly because I do enjoy my own company and that may sound selfish but as much as I would like the company of someone special, I think at my age that probably is long gone. I enjoy my time friends and some colleagues and the occasional fling but I come with more baggage than an airline and wonder how other single folks feel about being single?
Hi my friend and thank you for the question because I think it's a very relevant question. I don't think being single or being partnered is any different. I say this because having HIV or in my case AIDS you learn to live a life of isolation. A life of taking your meds and keeping yourself as healthy as possible. A life of secrecy because of fear of coming out to potential date or partner. We all have these setbacks whether we're single or partnered and even partnered sometimes it's not what you think. I understand a life of isolation and I applaud you for discovering that side. But don't give up it's just when you think that you're okay being by yourself that you meet someone else.
Yes Brother @A myHIVteam Member
Grindr is a great option for me however those who I have met there become possessive and shallow and I would prefer more stability from someone other than just having sex, which Grindr is based on, as you may already know.
However, there are times when the indulgent spirit haunts me, and I give in LOL! I found it to be strange that I wasn't rejected as I would think, after revealing my undetectable status. They were as pent up as I was perhaps.
I've been single since my late partner passed away in 2018. I haven't the motivation to seek out another partner anytime soon. I will be 63 this coming December 2022. I look younger, so my grandkids and daughters say. Maybe just to give me a confidence boost. I have settled in to being alone and single.
Other factors play a role in why some people prefer to be and remain single, for example.
Younger men are more likely to say they are single because they want to be free to date and not settle down.
Younger women are more likely to say they are single in order to avoid being hurt or because they don't feel they are desirable partners.
Younger adults—both men and women—are also more likely to say that they were single because they lacked strong flirting skills.
Young adults are also more likely to say that being single was due to a dislike of commitment.
Older adults, by contrast, were more likely to report being single in order to have the freedom to do the things they want.
Consider finding ways to reframe your perspective. Rather than focusing on the downsides of being single, focus on the aspects that you do enjoy or the freedom that it brings.
I am fortunate to have children and grandchildren that does not make being single an issue. I have freedom to do what I want with them; I have extra money to spoil my grandkids with, I can indulge in myself, I enjoy the solitude and independence of being single. I can also be a neat-freak or a slob in my own home, which I sway between the two now and then. Being single allows me to flirt with others without fear of repercussion from my partner.
We all have baggage. The object is to find people who can help you unpack!
I’m 67. Four years ago i moved from Los Angrles to Belleville, il. All my friends here are straight so i pretty much gave up on a significant other at that point. But i finally reached out to one young gay man just so i could have at least one gay friend here. It was complete coincidence that I found out he had just got his HIV diagnosis about a month before we met. We went out a few times, he texts me every day! One day he sent a text that said he was tired of the bs from guys online and the rudeness and said he just wanted to be with me. Well, i was surprised but actually i was glad. So i’ve had a guy who is so unlike anybody i ever dated before in my life. It’s been difficult for me to actually say “love” to him but earlier this summer the words just came right out!
Just don’t give up. It will happen when you least expect it. But it's okay if you decide to just be alone.
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