Perhaps this article can help you. I have a negative partner of 13 years and he is negative and I am positive with AIDS but I am undetectable. You could still have relations with your partner if you are undetectable and not pass it. Please read,
https://www.niaid.nih.gov/diseases-conditions/t...

Treastment as Prevention (TasP). It means if you take your treatment (meds), and you're undetectable, it will prevent transmission. U=U Trust the science. The data is over a decade old. Truth be told, the studies show the HIV hasnt been transmitted from sexual partners with a viral load up to 400 copies. The U=U rule kicks in at 200 copies, and of course current testing can fetect down to 20 copies. My tests come back as less than 20 copies, so undetectable. My wife and i have frequent unprotected sex. We are open and talk about it. She is not on PreP but does get tested for RNA detection a few times a year.

@A myHIVteam Member Is correct. If you are undetectable = untransmittable you are unable to transmit HIV to anyone.
If you want to add extra levels of protection, condoms would offer you that and also your wife could take PREP, a pill that will protect your partner even more.
My boyfriend is on prep with no issues.
So you are safe if you take your pills but you have additional options too.
Tom

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A myHIVte...

I contracted HIV from my first sexual relationship in 1995. We married but then divorced when she left me for a guy she worked with, a few months after I had been discharged from hospital having been diagnosed with TB meningitis.

Eventuallyi started dating and using condoms and had the same nervousness as you talk about.

However shortly after WHO announced U=U I met an amazing woman who I later married and our sex life is far better than I experienced with my first wife (with whom didn’t use condoms as we both had the virus).

I would recommend asking your HIV doctor about counselling

If you are undetectable..you are fine!