By the grace of God I have over three years clean from my drug of choice. Crystal Meth. I used practically ever day for over 40 years. With one small break during a 3 year prison term a couple attempts at getting clean 3 months one time and 18 months another. For the last 20 years I was an IV user. I do blame my addiction for my HIV because it caused me to also be a sex addict and to crave sex with men constantly. Anonymous raw sex was my favorite. I was married twice to women during this time and my very grateful I didn’t give HIV to them. I don’t consider myself gay or even bi when I’m not under the influence. I currently have a girlfriend and we have a healthy sex life using condemns and she knows everything about my past. I had no more desire to be with men at all since I quit using and can honestly say I’ve never been with a man unless I was hi. I do not judge the gay lifestyle and I believe I have great compassion for all people.
Just for today!!!

Hi , I used to say hi my name is April and I'm a recovering addict but now I'm Child of GOD and my clean date is coming up May 22, 2005

Oh, yeah. It did. But I've been clean and sober for 6 yrs, thankfully. I don't dwell on it and move forward as best as I can.

I’m currently dealing with it now. Depression , low self esteem , and family history are definitely factors to why I’m always seeking to numb the pain. But I know I can’t go on like this because if I do , it isn’t the HIV that’s going to take me out.

Yes. Addiction gene is alive and thriving on both sides of my family. Thank God the opiates, heroin was not my drug of choice. Had unlimited supply pure coke in late 70s when it was condoned and for rich and famous. Before Crack. Cocaine, not physically addicting, only mentally. Had a huge problem eventually with it as cocaine turned into Crack epidemic by 1985. My significant other was a huge dealer/ smuggler but was murdered at a young age ....he was only 37 years old. He was abusive to me and a very smart con artist. I had his child when young and naive but left him years before he was murdered.
Now with crushed pelvis healing I wouldn't say no to pain relief! But not my drug of choice. Best drug is being straight and not doing any illegal substances. Nothing beats that kind of a high!