I've been through sum shit but always have known tomorrow is another day. My grandmother told me that suicide is a sin and scared the shit out of me. So no never has this been an issue for me.
Never! Not in the least! I did as instructed; continued to work and play; looked good, and knew I was up to the challenge. . . . however, about 9 years later it was depression that floored me and I thought about suicide everyday. I still believe that a mental affliction is worse than a physical illness.
I read this with much sadness, so many stories to tell, some that some of us can relate to, but also see the courage shown by people, and what the love of family and friends can do. As a typical Brit I don’t share my story, but I have my fair share of negative thoughts and have done for most of my life. Many will know that I like to hug, and send each and every one a hug, the good thing is we are all here to write our thoughts and stories, we all have purpose and we can all share and empathise. As @A myHIVteam Member said, here is a chance to share something that is very profound, without judgement - thank you for posting. I wish everyone happy thoughts, it’s a privilege to read your stories.
Was drunk and high most of it so..really wasn't present.. and now...I have too much to live for...but who's to say what would happen if I was to get really sick and things changed...
But I do have a strong faith ...so ..a day at a time!
In the early days when I was diagnosed they bluntly said you'll be dead in a year and people who I loved were dying. I decided I wasn't going out that way. I planned it out to the detail. What stopped me was after about the 3rd week of my zombie like just walking around with no purpose someone who I still miss gave me a comedy tape, (old school cassette tape) and I laughed for the first time. A close friend did commit suicide that same day. At that point I could have chosen one or the other. Putting my mother through that pain or plugging in a comedy and finding something to laugh about. I made that choice and I haven't looked back. I've lived relatively well with this for more than 33 years. I've accomplished a lot and I'm not sorry I made that decision.
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