Second guessing your actions is rather redundant right now is it not since you like I have HiV / Aids and must deal with the results of our actions and make peace with our selves and move forward and not wallow in our pen self pitty / loathing but pick up the pieces of our lives and move forward to be the best we can achieve .
I was careless.It never really mattered who or how, still doesn’t. It wouldn’t do any good to worry about it, even now.
I got tired of being careful. And I was in an "open" relationship, so what the hell. Our sex was not the sort that would put anyone at risk. Rarely any penetration and then not anal. But I'm the KINKY one! I want more. So I got more. And more and more and more.... My then partner and I parted after nearly 10 years. We're still long-term friends and have each found the ideal relationship for us. The meds work, I've been undetectable for better than 5 years now. My doctor says HIV will NOT be the cause of my demise. So far, the only significant malady is Coronary Arterial Disease, and that is under control with two stents. Cholesterol is an issue, too, but there are meds and diet to help that. Yes, I'm one of the lucky ones. And there are people who accuse me of having "gotten away with murder", who think I should be being punished the way others apparently were in the early years of the crisis. Friends, THAT WAS NOT PUNISHMENT, even though the fundamental Christians insisted it was God's scourge on the gay community for it's abject promiscuity. Happy Thursday, all. May we each live our own lives and encourage each other to do THAT!
I think i know. From the day i got my diagnosis though, i intentionally decided to move forward without dwelling on who or looking to blame. I made choices that produced this consequnce and i made those choices more than once over a long time. I’m going only forward.