Friends were going into the hospital to never be seen again alive. I had a salon in Atlanta and AIDS was new to us all. The fear was about as overwhelming. I was lucky to have people who worked at CDC and Emory that were clients to my shop. I got the best advice and leads to doctors who were in the science of what was happening. How many remember all the memorials we attended ? I got numb to it all. Complete void. I couldn't cry. Then Heart Strings opened at the FOX and we worked with the cast backstage. There I met Elaine Hendrix. What an angel. She became a client and friend to us. The AIDS community. On screen pics of people I had known was shown on the screen and I started crying. I think that is the most emotional night in my life. I was a mess. I lost my love of 15+ years not to long after. In 1995. RIP Keith. So things do not compare today to the beginning. I love and miss a host of fine folks. If the drugs today were available to them, my world would be complete. I got up this morning and went on my way.

Only poz going on 24 yrs, not gay, noy srug user and not a prostitute, but was dz ans startwd meds qhen AZT was the onky option in 1994.
Working in a hospital and seeing AIDS patiemts coming in and dying wondering when was it my turn to be in that bed?
Taking meds since AZT in 1994, I have lived through a myriad assortment of reactions and side effecya, some life long.
The one thing that is RADICALLY different today is the knowledge that taking meds consistently and being undetectable over 6 months...I AM NO LONGER able TO INFECT OTHERS AS LONG AS I co tnue meds. My fear of infecting a lo ed one was the WORST PART of the 22yrs before being shown in studies that U=U.

When I diagnosed on September 17, 1989 I had just buried my husband. I then found out he knew when we started dating that he was poz.
So one year after my diagnosis, I was placed in the AZT study. It was a purple liquid. AZT was in my cocktail for 10 years. I also had ddI, d4t and ddc. The neurapathy set in around 1994. I was running 10 miles a week. Not much but I was trying to be healthy. I had to quit when it was discovered I had avascular necrosis of the hip.
PCP, July 6, 1995. Three weeks in the hospital, two in ICU. My release papers had AIDS in big red letters across the top. It was 104° that day. I could hardly breathe. My friends Tony and Dave took me in to watch over me. These two men were like brothers to me. I miss them. They are gone.
I've broken my right leg three separate times just above the ankle. The last time was when I wrecked my bicycle. I was 63.
We've endured the dying years. Many of us are alone because all our friends and lovers are gone. I just today lost my friend Jeff Hammond in New Mexico. He and his wife were diagnosed with GRID in San Francisco back in the early 80s. I'm the sole surviving charter member of the first women's support group in Cincinnati. Everyone of the first 15 women who created the group are gone. I contributed to the book Troubling the Angels by Smithies and Lather in the mid 90s. Most of the women in the book are gone. I need new friends because my other friends are ghosts who I see nightly in my brain movies. Being the last man/woman standing is a chilling experience. No wonder my Grandmother who lived to 101 would say she was ready to go even though she was healthy. .. her friends were all gone. The sting of losing those who autographed your heart and kissed your soul is the worst symptom of all to endure.
I'm a walking train wreck. But the wreck is still walking.
Hang in there @A myHIVteam Member, we are forever the pioneers of this conquest. I'm glad for everyone here. You are the jelly on my toast!!!

I would tell them that attitude is everything! Stay focused on things that matter and let the stupid shit go. Lastly no matter what Dr says you'll die soon, do not rush to the mall to buy everything you ever wanted on credit. Like myself you may live look n enough to pay for all that shit.

I was 18 when I met my first boyfriend. He was ten years older. I came out to my family at the same time that I moved out of the house and in with him. He and friends had a house on fire island and I had three of the best years of my life. Like Larry Kramers true story " The Normal Heart" the men were beautiful, the times were great until people started falling without explanation. We started reading about GRID, but I had already been with my boyfriend and he was the only one I had anal sex or had loved at this point. In 1984 he felt like he was getting sick and based on his past sexual experience that he had the virus. KS confirmed that was true as there was no tests yet. It was assumed that I was also.

It was scary as hell but I focused on helping Brian and others via GMHC and St. Vincents while finishing my Pharmacy school. Hopsitals had quarantine units where providers were afraid to go in. Food was passed through doors. Act Up was protesting Reagan's lack of empathy or care.

Thank a higher spirit weather God or Buddha that today is quite different. The virus is manageable. The meds are not toxic. Life expectancy is the same as everyone else if you take your antiretrovirals and take care of yourself. That was not always the case. We have come a long way. I am blessed to still be here and enjoy and appreciate every single day.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!