I would suggest your partner maybe speaks to a HIV counsellor, as once you have been on medication and your viral load goes below undetectable and also your CD4 has risen to a good level latest research shows that the risk of catching H I V from a partner is virtually zero, as opposed to having sex with someone you don't know, one there status and two if they don't know they could have a high viral load

This sounds like a very difficult and heartbreaking situation for you. On the one hand, it sounds like the “open”, no-protection, sex relationship provided a path to exposure for you both, but, you are the one who has suffered. I agree with Gold. Therapy, couples and HIV — especially if he’s continuing to have sex with other people and your needs are not being met within the relationship. And yes, if he continues outside relations without protection, it doesn’t make sense. This sounds like a very difficult situation. I wish you well. Hugs.

This is an older question that I would like to chime in on.
If you are both respectful of each other in this relationship, show him this question. Allow him to answer for you since he needs to know how you feel. You are together for a good 30 years and that is a strong foundation for both of you.
Arrange a meeting with your HIV doctor and invite your partner. If you guys are planning on another 30 years together, which is more likely than not, put this question directly out to him. It is that important.
Having toys and other contraptions to fill this need will not suffice, you need the real deal to make you feel whole again. I get you.

And he knows that since you are undetectable that there is NO risk of you infecting him WITHOUT using condoms, right? If he is still uncomfortable, have your doctor explain that to him so he KNOWS that there is absolutely ZERO risk...

@A myHIVteam Member My suggestion is that you both talk to your doctor first. You can ask your doctor about your partner taking Prep which is a medication your partner can take so he can stay negative since you're undetectable. He/She can explain about the medication in detail Since you both haven't used condoms with each other, there are programs where couples like yourselves learn about different types of communication; having safe sex & making it fun. Also talk about Prep that I mentioned earlier. Some of these groups have HIV 101 classes or even weekend retreats. So you can talk to & hear from others about their situations that can help you as well. Look online in your area to see what organizations may have these types of programs available.

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