After I receive my diagnosis, I cried for three hours. I thought my life was over. That was back in October 16, 1995 wow so many years ago so much has been done giant steps forward, but one thing I do every day before my feet hit the ground getting out of bed is I thank God I thank God for my health that I am healthy that I got this disease that I may educate someone so that they may not get it. I’ve been fortunate in ways that I have not had any secondary infections. Nothing related oh I had some knee surgery because I melt on some rocks maybe the cold of the flu in the last 31 years nothing that I read on this website that others have suffered through I thank God every day that I don’t go through that I had a next lover who was diagnosed in November and was putting the ground in October the following year I was torn up. I don’t live with HIV HIV lives with me. It’s just hitching a ride and I’m not giving up so easy with the produce and Herbert‘s first came out. I talked to a specialist Dr. Jack Bissett. He’s retired. We both grew great together. That was our little joke 31 years ago. I met him and we decided I decided I will hold off treatment for a year because pro inhibitors were coming down the pipeline, but we were still looking at only having a ZT and too many people were dying on that so I waited and for the last almost 19 years, I have been undetectable on Tika and Discover. Then I take allopurinol for gout and two blood pressure medication’s but every day I pray for you reading this for your health that you continue to fight this battle for my health that I stay healthy and I hope that God sees fit to bless you and ways that your cup run it over October 16, 2026 I will celebrate my 31st birthday boy wouldn’t that be fun to be 31 again instead of 64 but I will have had this disease living with me for 31 years on October 16. May God bless you all take care.

Thank you for your question Brad as it is a good one. I myself needed to go into a support group with older men of 55 plus who have been HIV positive for over 25 years. This was the only way that I would finally accept the word disability along with hiv. It took a team and it will take a team of support for all to love themselves for who they are.

This brings up a memory ....

When during a leather run one of my cabin mates caught me when we were alone and asked me about Hiv .
( ok so I had admitted to the masses therein ( about 250 men in attendance during the parting brunch because some had already left ) that " I have Aids "

Well the cabin mate confided to me that his house mate was Poz but never wanted to talk about it ...

That's when I told him his house mate was committing " self hate " because he never thought he would become a victim of Hiv

Then the crew he came with was ready to vacate so he left without finding the particulars about dealing with Hiv ....

Yes in ensuing years we have crossed paths but he has never brought up the subject :( .

Not at first because I nearly had a nervous breakdown though yet I became so focused on surviving my drug addiction. The first time my meds stopped working in 2013 I attempted suicide and was in a coma for 13 days - I’ve always struggled with suicidal ideations - which will take me out .., the drugs, HIV or suicide ? I try not to think about those things 😢

Luis you got this your an inspiration to many😉