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Real members of myHIVteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A myHIVteam Member asked a question 💭
Los Angeles, CA

I’ve been in contact with a counselor from the health dept. in my area about this topic but they are unhelpful. I know they mean well but, there is an individual who I may have exposed HIV too when I didn’t know. However, he is violent and does have access to firearms. Even if the health dept does an anonymous update to them. I’m legitimately afraid for my personal safety. I cannot currently afford to move either and am currently no contact. But he does know where I live. The counselor has been… read more

May 28 (edited)
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A myHIVteam Member

They can't tell the other person who you are. That would be a HIPAA violation if they did.

July 25
A myHIVteam Member

I'd go anonymous. That's the safe way. He has to find out somehow. Unless he was violent to you. Then I might let him get an OI first.

May 28
myHIVteam

This is a genuinely difficult and scary situation, and the concern for personal safety here is completely valid. Wanting to do the right thing while also protecting yourself takes real courage to navigate.

The good news is that your safety comes first — and there are ways to handle this that don't require you to put Show Full Answer

This is a genuinely difficult and scary situation, and the concern for personal safety here is completely valid. Wanting to do the right thing while also protecting yourself takes real courage to navigate.

The good news is that your safety comes first — and there are ways to handle this that don't require you to put yourself at risk. Here are some important things to consider:

- Your local health department can notify past partners completely anonymously — without revealing your name or any identifying details about you
- You are not required to provide more information than you're comfortable with to the health department counselor
- If the current counselor isn't meeting your needs, you have the right to request a different counselor or advocate
- A social worker can also help facilitate this process in a way that feels safer for you
- You can also contact Lambda Legal or a similar organization if you feel pressured in ways that compromise your safety

It may also be worth contacting a domestic violence or personal safety hotline, as they often have experience helping people in situations involving individuals with violent tendencies, and can offer guidance on safety planning even when moving isn't an option right now.

Your wellbeing matters just as much as doing the right thing — and thankfully, anonymous notification exists precisely for situations like this one.

May 28

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