I pray...a lot. And I set small, achievable goals that I can meet...meaningful things that help either someone else or me. When I meet the goals, I congratulate myself & take the win. And I talk it out, usually with my wife....she's a good listener. Hope you don't beat yourself up. You matter; you aren't useless; you're important. You're tired at the moment but you will make it through.

there are certain times we all feel that way..

You are currently in a "winter" season of your life. In nature, nothing blooms all year round. Right now, you are in a phase of preservation. You aren't useless; you are surviving a very difficult set of circumstances, and that takes more strength than most people realize.

Do something, anything—just keep moving. The moment you completely stop, those negative thoughts try to sneak in. I'm not saying you shouldn't rest, but when you do, gently guide your mind toward positive or lighthearted things. For me, it started with drawing simple, goofy sketches, but over time it blossomed into painting full watercolors and detailed nature scenes. The point is to find a way to stay engaged and productive that works for you. Resting with a positive mindset is hard work, but it keeps the darkness at bay. And if the thoughts ever get to be too heavy, don't hesitate to talk to someone.

For real.... It's not you. The job market has been a sh#t show for the last 2 years. and this year seems to be on track to be a lot worse. I don't know how long you were on your last job, but don't forget to check to see if you have any unemployment in the kitty. As long as you're still working off and on, you're still storing up unemployment. I think you're on the right track though. With my HIV. contract or transactional work is my best option. Yahtzee if it comes with insurance. I don't think I've worked a full year since my diagnosis.