I would stop messing with him. You shouldn't have to take a round of antibiotic's, prep and a condom to feel safe sleeping with someone.

@A myHIVteam Member
Gurl, you need to get yourself out of town and start new by cleaning yourself up, taking care of what's important (You) and let all that bothers you fall to the side, you're old enough to go it alone, why are you hanging on to these losers who only use you and then throw you out like an old dish rag. Sex is good but you shouldn't base your life around it, you're just punishing yourself. Stop the nonsense, and straight your crown as the queen that you are, must reign supreme over these obstacles in your life, gurl! get it together. Peace be with you.

Mentioned Users

A myHIVte...

3. Evaluating the Relationship
You asked if you should talk to him, let him go, or both. Here is how to weigh those options:

The Argument for Letting Him Go:

Safety: You are scared. Sex should be a place of pleasure, not a place where you feel you are constantly dodging a bullet.

Respect: He doesn't seem to care about your fear. A partner who cares about you will prioritize your peace of mind over their specific "morbos."

Peace: You mentioned you have other people interested in you. You are choosing a high-stress situation over potentially lower-stress, safer connections.

The Argument for Talking (as a final step):

If you want to give it one last shot, you must be blunt: "I am scared of getting sick. I don't find the talk about STDs arousing; I find it terrifying. If we continue, we need a strict safety plan, and the 'punishment' photos need to stop."

Note: Based on his past responses, be prepared for him to dismiss your feelings again.

Summary Recommendation
Hector, based on the fact that you used the word "scared" and feel "punished," talking might not be enough. Communication only works when both people value the other's safety. He seems to value his specific kinks and a "carefree" attitude toward disease more than your comfort.

You deserve to have a sex life that doesn't require you to live in fear. If you decide to end things, you don't owe him a long explanation. You can simply say: "Our views on sexual health and boundaries are too different, and I don't feel safe in this dynamic anymore."

Thank you for reaching out and sharing what you're going through. First, I want to say that your fear and anxiety are completely valid, and you should trust your gut here. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and heard in any relationship or sexual partnership.

Here is some clear feedback on what you’ve shared:

1. Your Health and Safety Come First
Infections & Antibiotics: Penicillin and Doxycycline are useful for specific bacterial infections (like syphilis, chlamydia, or gonorrhea), but they do not protect against or cure viral infections like Herpes (HSV) or HIV. Taking Doxycycline after sex (PEP/PrEP style) without medical guidance, or relying on it to cover all risks, isn't enough to keep you fully safe.

Dismissive Behavior: Dismissing concerns about STIs with casual comments like "Penicillin is around the corner" shows a serious lack of care for both his own health and yours.

2. Emotional Manipulation & Guilt
Sending you photos of himself after being fisted by someone else—especially when it feels like a reaction or a "punishment" for not doing what he wanted—is a red flag. That is a form of emotional manipulation designed to make you feel guilty or anxious.

Being open about kinks or "morbos" is fine between consenting adults, but fetishizing risk or ignoring your comfort levels is not okay.

3. What Should You Do?
My strongest recommendation is to let him go.

While it's clear you enjoy parts of your physical connection, sex should never make you feel terrified or punished. A conversation might be worth having if you feel you need closure, but realistically, he has already shown you how he views STI risks and sexual boundaries. You cannot force someone to change their attitude toward safety if they don't see an issue.

Steps to take right away:

Get a Full STI Panel: Visit a clinic or doctor to get a comprehensive STI test (including HSV, HIV, Syphilis, Chlamydia, and Gonorrhea) so you have full clarity on your own health.

Talk to a Doctor About PEP/PrEP: If you are having sex with multiple partners or high-risk situations, ask a healthcare provider about HIV PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) and how to properly use Doxy-PEP if appropriate, rather than self-dosing.

Prioritize Your Peace of Mind: You mentioned turning down other people who want to be with you—don't trade your health and emotional peace for someone who makes you feel unsafe.

Take a step back, protect your body, and give yourself space from someone who causes you this much distress. You deserve better!

Hello Hector. I can hear how much stress and confusion this situation is causing you. It sounds like you are navigating a very complex dynamic where your physical health, your emotional boundaries, and your sexual desires are all clashing at once.

When you feel "scared" and "punished" in a relationship—even a sexual one—it is a clear signal from your gut that the current situation is unsustainable.

Here is a breakdown of the medical and relational aspects of your situation to help you decide how to move forward.

1. Addressing the Health Risks
It's important to clarify a few things regarding the medical side of your concerns:

The "Antigens" and Herpes: If you have developed antibodies (antigens) for Herpes, it means you have been exposed to the virus. Herpes is manageable, but it is a lifelong condition. His dismissive attitude toward STDs is a significant red flag.

The "Doxy-PEP" Misconception: Taking two Doxycycline after sex (often called Doxy-PEP) can help reduce the risk of Syphilis, Chlamydia, and Gonorrhea. However, it does nothing to protect you against viruses like Herpes, HPV, or HIV.

The "Penicillin" Comment: His claim that "Penicillin is around the corner" suggests he views STDs as minor inconveniences rather than health risks that affect his partners. This shows a lack of "informed consent" and a lack of respect for your body.

2. Sexual Compatibility vs. "Morbos"
In sexual subcultures, "morbos" (kinks/fetishes) are common, but they must be built on enthusiastic consent and safety.

The Risk Fetish: He seems to have a fetish for the idea of infection (bug-chasing or risk-play). If you are "f***ing scared of any disease," you are fundamentally incompatible with someone who finds the idea of disease arousing.

FF (Fisting) and Sending Photos: Sending photos of himself after being fisted by someone else shortly after seeing you is often a form of "triangulation." It sounds like he is trying to make you jealous or feel inadequate for not performing the acts he wants. This is likely why you feel like he is "punishing" you.