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He has herpes but, for some reason I developed antigens. He had few STDs and the only answer he gave me is that Penicillin is around the corner. Another thing that is bothering me, is that he likes to talk about his "morbos", which are: do you have any std?, are you positive?, I like that!, how many people have you had sex during this week? Also, he likes to get penetrated and wants to have oral sex at the same time. I have done almost everything related with sex but, never had or allowed some… read more
I would stop messing with him. You shouldn't have to take a round of antibiotic's, prep and a condom to feel safe sleeping with someone.
3. Evaluating the Relationship
You asked if you should talk to him, let him go, or both. Here is how to weigh those options:
The Argument for Letting Him Go:
Safety: You are scared. Sex should be a place of pleasure, not a place where you feel you are constantly dodging a bullet.
Respect: He doesn't seem to care about your fear. A partner who cares about you will prioritize your peace of mind over their specific "morbos."
Peace: You mentioned you have other people interested in you. You are choosing a high-stress situation over potentially lower-stress, safer connections.
The Argument for Talking (as a final step):
If you want to give it one last shot, you must be blunt: "I am scared of getting sick. I don't find the talk about STDs arousing; I find it terrifying. If we continue, we need a strict safety plan, and the 'punishment' photos need to stop."
Note: Based on his past responses, be prepared for him to dismiss your feelings again.
Summary Recommendation
Hector, based on the fact that you used the word "scared" and feel "punished," talking might not be enough. Communication only works when both people value the other's safety. He seems to value his specific kinks and a "carefree" attitude toward disease more than your comfort.
You deserve to have a sex life that doesn't require you to live in fear. If you decide to end things, you don't owe him a long explanation. You can simply say: "Our views on sexual health and boundaries are too different, and I don't feel safe in this dynamic anymore."
Oy vey he still needs to get away from the situation
@A myHIVteam Member
Gurl, you need to get yourself out of town and start new by cleaning yourself up, taking care of what's important (You) and let all that bothers you fall to the side, you're old enough to go it alone, why are you hanging on to these losers who only use you and then throw you out like an old dish rag. Sex is good but you shouldn't base your life around it, you're just punishing yourself. Stop the nonsense, and straight your crown as the queen that you are, must reign supreme over these obstacles in your life, gurl! get it together. Peace be with you.
@A myHIVteam Member, there is no love in that relationship. He just said they were friends with benefits. He's just paranoid that his friend with benefits, has too many friends with benefits themself.
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