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Real members of myHIVteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A myHIVteam Member asked a question 💭
Albuquerque, NM

I am new to dating scene… I am nervous to disclose to someone new in fear of acceptance. I dont want everyone to know … but how do you decide to disclose? I am scared

August 14, 2025
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Reactions
A myHIVteam Member

I put myself in the person’s shoes, I would want to know I wish I had a choice in if I wanted to have sex with an infected person, though I am undetectable I give people the choice to decide whether to date me or not, I would rather know that before any emotional connection, but it wasn’t until I was ready to deal with the rejection that is surely to come. Use discernment and if you feel that someone will be ugly don’t tell them ghost them 😊 mostly be careful and happy 💗

August 15, 2025
A myHIVteam Member

Thats hard to answer. I'd disclose before sex for a "partner". I'd take a different approach for someone I was interested in dating.

August 18, 2025
myHIVteam

It's completely normal to feel nervous about disclosure. The timing of when to disclose is a personal choice - some people prefer to share before the first date, while others wait until things become more serious. Many find it helpful to wait until their HIV is fully under control, as this allows them to speak from a Show Full Answer

It's completely normal to feel nervous about disclosure. The timing of when to disclose is a personal choice - some people prefer to share before the first date, while others wait until things become more serious. Many find it helpful to wait until their HIV is fully under control, as this allows them to speak from a position of confidence, especially when undetectable.

Here are some tips for disclosure:
• Choose a safe, comfortable setting
• Test the waters by asking about their HIV knowledge first
• Be prepared with accurate medical information
• Have responses ready for common questions For your safety and comfort:
• Only disclose to people you trust
• Consider working with a social worker or counselor to develop a disclosure plan
• Remember that your local health department can help if needed
• Focus on building a support network of understanding people who can help you navigate this process

While disclosure can feel scary, it creates opportunities for genuine connections based on trust. Many people find partners who are understanding and accepting of their status.

August 14, 2025
A myHIVteam Member

Evan you said it all, in as much you know your intentions fit someone.. You have to disclose before sex.. It's just not right.

August 20, 2025
A myHIVteam Member

I am also new here and if I you don't mind Eric.. Can I add you up

August 14, 2025

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