Brad I feel exactly the same. My biggest regret in all this is not being on Prep. I had a very active sex life with multiple partners for many years, and never had an std. So I thought it would never happen to me. I prided myself on “always” being safe. But my safe was like 95 percent of the time, not 100 percent. Since Prep doesn’t protect against everything I was like well I need to use a condom anyway so what’s the point. I was embarrassed to talk to my primary care doctor about it. He knew I was gay, but always seemed a little uncomfortable about it.
Living in a small town, not being out, not having any gay friends to ask I didn’t know where to go to get it. At that time there were not as many online ads for it. For the first year or so I let my regrets consume me. Now I try not to think about them and live my life in the present.

Hey Brad3,
A 100 years ago we all had the thinking of not if but when we get HIV. Yes prep is out there. The thing about that is with the onset of prep, new HIV meds that help someone live a long and normal life. The fear has shifted to I can take a pill and live with HIV. With that being said, there's still a lot of stigma and fear around HIV. As we move closer to hopefully ending HIV epidemic, we are moving further away from the history of HIV. So we are not truly being honest about HIV. As you have learned there's a lot more that goes along with HIV. We need to change the narrative to include the unfortunate events of History of HIV. So without providing the full context of HIV how could you fully grasp the need to take prEP. So the medical profession and activism has pushed a half truth. So you are totally justified in the way you do feel. Giving a whole context past, present and future of HIV can lead to a full understanding of why prep is needed. In time the what if's will fade and they won't be as strong as they are in the current moment. I myself still have those what if moments.
Much Love,
Coop

Joel thanks for sharing 😌

Jim I agree except you can stop taking prep when ever you feel like it. HIV pills not so much

Who knows when the last time they updated their profile. They could have forgot their profile still states that. I prolly never would have taken prep. And if I did. I would have quit it the minute I started picking up weight. I more disappointed I didn't test early.