Neither one
It’s all mental and My mind most definitely listens to what I tell it! All is well and living with an AIDS diagnosis isn’t something that I focus on it’s the fact that I am in control of My journey in life!! Change was uncomfortable but like the butterfly 🦋 I’ve been transformed!! PHUCK FEAR BE FREE

My biggest concern is that we will not find the cure in my lifetime.

not a damn thing.

One of my biggest fears is having more resistances; I am resistant to quite a bit of the ART's as it is, and therefore I am in a kiddie pool of medications that I can use. One margin of mistake, one forgetful night, any chance I give my strain a moment to mutate is something I simply cannot afford.

My second fear would be that I would go back to when I had AIDS (I mean I will always be diagnosed with AIDS; once you cross that bridge there is simply no going back) but what I mean is when I was 90lbs, barely functional, throwing up all the time, wasting away in a hospital bed soiling myself... I know that's unlikely since I am very strict with my current ART. Every single day, no matter what, once the clock strikes 6:30pm (not 5:59pm, not 6:31pm, 6:30pm ON THE DOT) I take my meds.

My third and final fear is being forgotten about, in the way that all these new advancements like Injectables, or being on a 1-pill a day, I can't partake due to my resistances. I am afraid that there will be nothing for me in the future just based on how mutated my HIV strain is. I mean its great for those of us who have a clean strain of HIV (no mutations) and have a plethora of options; but for those of us who do have resistances (quite a few of them) it makes it very complicated for treatment options that I would want vs. what I can have.

Living with HIV does not have to be a journey paved with fear. By following the right self-care practices and adhering to the treatment prescribed by an HIV specialist, one can manage the condition effectively. Fear is unnecessary and counterproductive, especially when facing something unseen yet manageable.