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Real members of myHIVteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

Can You Forgive And Forget?

A myHIVteam Member asked a question 💭
Geneva, IL

Some of us were infected by someone we loved.
Have you been able to move on?

March 4, 2024
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Reactions

Answer Summary

Members openly discussed the deeply personal question of whether they could forgive someone who infected them with HIV, with most agreeing... Read more

Members openly discussed the deeply personal question of whether they could forgive someone who infected them with HIV, with most agreeing that forgiveness is essential for personal mental health and healing, even when forgetting feels impossible. Several members shared that they chose to forgive not for the other person's benefit but for their own peace, emphasizing that holding onto resentment only allows the person who hurt them to maintain control, while others acknowledged the struggle of forgiving themselves and the difficulty of trusting again. A recurring theme was the importance of taking responsibility for one's own choices, letting go of blame to move forward, and recognizing that forgiveness is a process that can take years but ultimately brings relief and freedom from emotional pain.

A myHIVteam Member

Here is my take.
You don't have to forgive the person who gave it to you for THEIR sake.
Give forgiveness to them for YOUR sake.
If you don't give forgiveness for YOUR sake, then they still have control over you.
So f*ck them, they can go to hell with no forgiveness, but hold your head up, forgive them for yourself and show those mother f*ckers that they still didn't take you down.
You'll feel so much happier after that.

March 4, 2024
A myHIVteam Member

People care trust me .theres always a way to get healthcare in the USA for hiv. Social workers,Ryan white act,Medicaid etc . Don’t give up that’s what the virus wants you to do

March 4, 2024
A myHIVteam Member

Not at all I will never forgive my rapist never

March 4, 2024
A myHIVteam Member

Forgiveness is very important for your mental health.
Because the other person is going to go on with their life and do what they're going to do. Control what you have control over. And the things that you have no control over. Then let them go because with you not forgiving them. They're still controlling you and you don't need that you're far better than that. So like some of the other people have said forgive them for your sake. Not theirs as many of you know. I am a Christian and I am a Deacon, so come judgment day they will be judged. for what they have done.
And you have no control of that. So for your mental health. Forgive him, let it go and go on with your life and be happy because the damage is already done.
Be careful, be safe and have a wonderful day 😊 💛 💗.

March 5, 2024
A myHIVteam Member

It depends on the circumstances. Some situations involving malice are very difficult to understand. Own the part that is yours, let go of the rest. @A myHIVteam Member.

March 4, 2024

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