Grateful - Someone said that HIV and grateful are two words that shouldn't be in the same sentence. While I am in no way "grateful" that I received this diagnosis, I am grateful for the love, support, transparency, and so many other nuances it has caused me to walk in, and so many levels because of it, it's actually made my life richer.

I am great full that I have HIV-1. HIV-2 is more medication resistant. I have been approved to get Cabanuva injections. Even after taking medication for 25+ years of the 36 I have been positive. The medications work, and I am very thankful.

Grateful that I'm still undetectable after 17 months because of the advancement of ART and my own diligence, worried about other illnesses and ailments that sometimes come along with having HIV. Also worried about having to tell another partner that I'm positive, should my partner and I break up. But I'm actually very grateful because this diagnosis has allowed me to be so much more open minded, compassionate and empathetic toward people in general. Still wish I didn't have it. Just saying

I first heard I was HIV POZ in 1983 ( retro to '81 or earlier ). In 1983 that meant 12-18 months. There really was not much to do about it but I did what was available both scientific and, let us call it 'folklore' medicine. I cried. My partner now husband cried. I told him to go, I'd understand, I mean, we'd only been together a year. He said this was for better or worse; richer or poorer. And it has been. Would we have lasted this long? I like to think so. It's hard to look at this now 72-year-old hottie and imagine any other outcome. All this time since then has been my gravy time. You know gravy is the way to squeeze, grab every fucking ounce of nutrition out of the tiny piece of meat you had for the table. So I call this my gravy time. All the life I would have missed. I have been watching, experiencing, living. I'm now 74. I've won.

This year is probably the first year I haven't worried about having HIV. So I'm grateful for that. Things are going well in my life despite it. My troubles in life are normal people struggles! It's crazy lol

Concerning HIV, I don't know if I actually have current worries about it. I've adapted to taking my daily pill (along with the rest of my medications and vitamins lol.) I do have general worries about the American healthcare system and the insurance system being a joke....but that has nothing specific to do with HIV.