I had this predicament following the end of my marriage to the woman I’d contracted HIV from 13 years previously.

I spoke to a nurse at my HIV clinic and she advised me to wait until I knew it was a serious relationship. As it happened I ended up telling her over dinner the following week. She took the news well and felt good that I felt strongly enough about us to share such information with her.

I repeated this strategy with my next two girlfriends. I met my existing wife just as the U=U statement was released. As I felt that she could end up being THE ONE, I played it carefully. I spoke about my voluntary work as a Positive Voices speaker with THT and spoke about the advances in care.

When it came to us having THE TALK prior to becoming ‘proper’ serious, I told her about the effects of my brain injury I acquired through TB Meningitis and then disclosed that I’ve lived with HIV since my 20th birthday when I had lost my virginity. Surprisingly she laughed as she thought I was joking and then switched to asking why I had told her as I had told her that it couldn’t be transmitted if I was undetectable which I had just told her I was.

I continued to wear condoms until I went with her to see a local HIV consultant to discuss all her questions and also to hear from a medical professional confirm that what I had told her about HIV was accurate.

Sorry for rambling, hope it helps and best of luck.

Before sex.

When it becomes serious enough. A relationship is considered long term in my book and for me I would disclose when we become more serious about our relations way before having intimacy. The best part about being on this team is you may get lucky and find that long term relationship here where we all share a commonality, and the clouds of doubt, rejection, and fear are limited or nothing. Good luck! I think you'll need it.

I don't think there is a perscriptive "right time " each relationship is different due to the person you're with, if it feels right then do it then, there is always the possibility of rejection, and no need to prepare yourself for that, if the person cares for you enough it won't matter when you tell them. Check the legal side of it online there maybe a chance u could be prosecuted for not telling a partner depending on where you live. A relationship based on a foundation of truth is much stronger than a one built on secrets and deception. The site below is great at providing information concerning disclosing your status to others https://loopedin.nat.org.uk/

I hope this helps

When you know that he is worth the information.