I have not tried any dating apps since having HIV. But when I was searching google when my ex girlfriend cheated I did look upon a lot of things about the difficulties of dating with hiv. This was in 2017 but I depending on your level of comfort with people knowing. You don't want to start the conversation right off with it. But you also don't want to wait until so much time has gone by that you waste your time or there's. Get a connection going make sure you like them they like you then the two best approaches I read were by a person who was also work in the healthcare profession so he would talk a little about his work and put out feelers like how dating apps are raising std rates what's the persons thoughts on safe sex. Then what about all the advances in hiv medication and drop all the knowledge to them about it and see there response. If they seemed open minded he would be tell them. If not he moved along. Another was when you tell them don't just say I have hiv. Tell them you have hiv I am on medication that makes it undetectable, then in same message explain what undetectable is and that you can't pass it to another. And add in that you really have enjoyed talking to them if they don't mind because everyone else does it before they ghost you if they would at least explain to you why they are not ok with it. He said a lot more responded at least with their honest answer and some where educated and accepted him and kept talking. The biggest one that will make them want to burn your soul is not telling or Telling after the fact.

Also Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't grindr more of a hookup site. I had a tinder account pre-hiv and was surprised at how many girls were Looking for a relationship A co worker of mine who was gay would laugh because he said I had to work to get laid and all he had to do was go to grindr and say hi.(i don't really know much about the app except what I've read)
Maybe try a app that has a men looking for men in a dating site like match.com or harmony not a hookup site. When I finally do start putting myself out there I'm looking for long term someone that will be with me forever not a one night stand. Quality over quantity because it is hard to find someone after disclosing from what I've read. And doing all that just to get laid doesn't make sense to me. If you find someone that accepts you. Your more likely in a place where the majority of people aren't just looking for a one night stand and want something more and will look past it because they are willing to put in the time(Some people get lucky so that doesn't apply to every one.)

Hi @A myHIVteam Member Thank you for the encouraging words and support. I know I can’t be the only person on here coming across these same issues. I just want to be as open and as honest as I can.
Tom

Mentioned Users

A myHIVte...

@A myHIVteam Member first no one should be slut shaming anyone! Next there is no easy way to tell anyone and some people are just mean and they are hiding things that they do not like about themselves, My advice is you are on the right path and doing the right thing. So you be proud of who you are and if they can not except that it is their problem. 🥰

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A myHIVte...

Getting rejected the first time was HARD! It’s definitely gotten easier over time. I’m actually glad when the block me because that saves me the trouble of blocking them. Most apps give you limited blocks. I actually reached min on Gridnr. If I wanted to block someone new I had to unblock someone I previously blocked.

Hi @A myHIVteam Member
I live in Florida and here even if you are undetectable = untransmittable you are legally required to disclose your HIV status. The penalty is ‘ third-degree felony, subject to up to five years in prison and up to a $5,000 fine.’
I know for some guys it’s important to know. And if someone ask outright I don’t want to lie.