I live in a under-educated part of the country, where if you are honest you are typically shunned. As long as they don't know, all seems to be well. Ignorance is indeed bliss.
I find that at 56 I have become completely comfortable with the man I am and with what I need from a mate. It seems that this clarity coupled with my status creates a very difficult set of circumstances which makes meeting someone both… read more
@A myHIVteam Member (re your post)
I'm straight and female but believe ( as far as acceptance goes) it's not any easier for either "sides of the coin" .
At 36, undetectable for 8 years, and soon to be divorced, I've come to discover that a majority of people seem to think a relationship with someone else is supposed to "complete" them. I've been there and done that and the truth to the matter is that no one can make you complete except for yourself. A partner in crime shouldn't be a complement to your life but help supplement your life and vice versa. Being held responsible entirely for the others' happiness is a weight no one can hold; we are all human, make mistakes, cause each other grievances. It's what we do after that counts and defines your character, even if you are the only one aware of your actions after the fact.
I was celibate for twelves years after my diagnosis. At the time of my diagnosis, I was 45. Dating has been a problem because of my age. I am now 57 and have been dating for two years. I've mostly used dating apps. Every single person I've dated from dating sites has been a scammer. They were all much younger. The last man I was with, about 8 months, took me for everything he could get. I found out that he lied about his age and name for the first 4 months. I think he eventually began to truly care for me, but I also found out he had been using meth the entire time. I had no choice but to end the relationship. Just yesterday I uninstalled all of my dating apps. I don't meet people very often. I may be without a partner for the rest of my life, but finding someone is very difficult. My HIV status doesn't seem to be a problem for most men I've met.
In the same boat, its so difficult for people to understand us, for that reason we walk through lies, in wanting to keep some friends, once some know your status, you are left alone...I'm 43 but I like I'm loosing the hope of ever finding that real person that will understand me.