It's bn many years since I was diagnosed and I can't forgive the person who gave me this in matter of fact I hate him, but I can't put all the blame in him I should hv made sure he wore that condom. It's bn hard for me to try to fall in love again. I push people away when I feel we r getting too close because most people think just because u r Hiv+ they think u hv AIDS. When I think about the happiness I get depressed again cause I hv to tell them that I'm Hiv+ and then I will end up sad and… read more
Forgive not for someone else but for your ownself and your mind will be free.
The person who is responsible for me being HIV positive is me. I could have a abstained, used protection, or been on PREP. We have all seen information on HIV. It's broadcast around the world. So I forgive myself for assuming I could not get it. We all know that everytime we engage in risky behavior, we have to assume all the participants are HIV positive.
As for forgiving others, my religion says that in order to go to the promised land I have to forgive everyone w/o exception or risk eternal damnation.
Forgiving is about giving yourself permission to not be angry with someone anymore. I am now not just HIV Positive, I'm actually living a positive lifestyle...
I never blamed the guy who infected me. i had sex willingly and chose not to use a condom.... well we didnt have one and i really didnt care. it was the first guy i was with ( i can pick em) we had so much sex i was so happy .. we were inseparable and i lived with him immediately then i got so sick fevers night sweats extreme weight loss.. i went the the dr and they said i must have a virus. so i continued to live with him and i got sicker one month later i looked in the mirror and saw how skinny i was..and i felt so light. i took a shower and went home. i guess I started getting better after the initial infection.. went to the quick care a few times they didnt know what was wrong with me. a few mos later my partner donated blood and they told him he might be hiv poz. so i got tested... found out i was poz.. long story short...spent 25 yrs with this guy.
I used to think about the person that gave me the virus, then I just let go of the anger I felt and decided that I just needed to learn to move and and deal with the consequences of being HIV+. Some days it still does bother me to have that status though.
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